Be Still: The Fight
by CarlieD
Summary: It's been close to three years since Tony and Ziva went into hiding. Finally, it was safe to return to Washington and life as DiNozzo and David. But now Raphael Bashan has resurfaced as the new Mossad liaison...
1. Prologue

_It's been close to three years since Tony and Ziva went into hiding. Finally, it was safe to return to Washington and life as DiNozzo and David. But now Raphael Bashan has resurfaced as the new Mossad liaison..._

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of NCIS.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the official sequel to Be Still.

* * *

**Prologue**

_Eremias Bay, FL (July 4, 2008)_

"Is it just me, or does it seem like this is Gilead with a better view and higher temperature?" Tony commented, poking a random key on his laptop to make it seem like he was working.

Ziva laughed, setting down her pencil as tiny whines came from their newborn son. "Oh, come here, little boy," she cooed softly in Hebrew, carefully lifting Noam from his carrier. "Yeah, all this noise is too much, isn't it?"

"You've got him shaded, right?" Tony said automatically, reaching to adjust the tabletop umbrella.

Ziva wasn't listening, as busy as she was looking at Gibbs. "Look who is here," she murmured to Tony softly, sending Gibbs a slight smile.

Tony scanned the crowds, heart racing slightly. Then he spotted Gibbs and the team, relaxed and raised his glass in silent, subtle recognition. "Gibbs must've finished a boat, they've got harbour passes on," he said quietly. He watched for a while, as Ducky finished telling another long-winded story and the team burst out laughing, even Gibbs. "I actually miss Ducky's stories," Tony sighed, typing another few letters in his empty document. "Do you think they even miss us now?"

"I am sure they do, Tony," Ziva said indulgently. "Careful, you are about to be spilt on."

"What?" Tony asked with a frown, just before Shiloh accidentally knocked over her water into his lap. "Ahh! Shiloh!"

* * *

"So?" Tony asked later that evening as he slipped upstairs from the café to their upper-level condo. Ziva turned to look at him, Noam nestled in a little ball of baby boy in her arms as he blinked sleepily. "Ah. Not asleep yet."

"Shiloh is out like the dead," Ziva replied, reluctantly passing the baby to Tony as he began to pry their son from her. "What about downstairs?"

"Almost done for the night," he replied, leaning to kiss her lightly. "Ryan can handle the rest of it. So once this guy falls asleep, we have the entire night to ourselves."

Ziva laughed, kissing him back. "You only wish," she murmured into his ear. "It is your Independence Day, remember? Make sure he is well and truly asleep before you come out to the balcony," she called. Sighing, she left the door slightly ajar and curled up in the swing outside, watching as the last of the customers were leaving the café downstairs. In the distance, the harbour and local motels' lights were still shining brightly, reflecting off the water.

Tony emerged onto the balcony about half an hour later. "So, what do you think?" he asked, leaning back into the swing and pulling her into his lap.

"Stefan was not enforcing the two-drink limit tonight," Ziva commented. "Judging by how many people have been stumbling out of here."

"It's Independence Day, Ziva," Tony said in mock indignity. "You're supposed to get drunk before the fireworks. It's tradition." He kissed the edge of her jawbone, murmuring, "If we're quick, we might be able to sneak in Mommy-and-Daddy time before Shiloh and Noam wake up at the fireworks exploding..." Hopefully, he slid his hand across her waist, continuing to kiss her.

Ziva laughed and kissed him lightly before slapping his cheek gently. "You wish. Come back in another two months or so. You take Shiloh. I will take Noam."

"Aw, come on..."

"Tony, you are a single-path mind."

"One-track, and yes, I freely admit it." He dashed to catch up to her just as the fireworks started and unhappy screams came from inside the condo. "Ziva, you're not seriously going to make me wait two months, are you?"

"We can negotiate later, Tony."

"I can negotiate," Tony said brightly. "I'm good at negotiating."


	2. The Return to Washington

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of NCIS.

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Return To Washington**

_Eremias Bay, FL (November 24, 2010)_

"I will not believe this is happening until we are back on Washington cement," Ziva said with certainty as she lifted 2-year-old Noam up and buckled him into his car seat.

"Are we going yet?" 4-year-old Shiloh complained from her booster seat. Goliath let out a loud whine from the kennel on the floor in the back.

"Not just yet, Shi," Tony replied from the back of the van where he was loading baggage one-handed. The other arm was occupied with one very wiggly 7-month-old. "Ziva, you almost done with him yet? I'm going to drop this one soon."

"Do _not_ drop her, Tony, or you will be walking to Washington," Ziva threatened, clipping Noam's harness in place securely. Indignant at his restraining, Noam let out a yell of unhappiness.

"No! Out, Mama, out!"

Tony looked at his wife as she sighed and pulled Ariel from his arm. "At this point, I might take you up on that threat. Except that I still don't trust you on the road." He closed the back door and went around to the driver's seat. "C'mon, the boss-man wants us there for 0800."

"No, the boss-woman wants us there for 0800," Ziva corrected as she strapped Ariel into her car seat and then joined Tony up front.

"15 hours and 15 minutes from now, according to MapQuest with an hour added for kid and dog time."

* * *

"How long is this drive?" Tony asked tiredly as Noam let out another yell.

"Another 14 hours and 52 minutes," Ziva replied with a sigh as she turned around. "Noam, stop that right now."

"Want out!" Noam insisted.

"Right now, Noam, or I will come back there, and I will take all your toys away! All of them, Noam, do you hear me?"

"Out!!"

Ziva muttered a curse under her breath in Hebrew and yanked the bag full of animals and cars off the seat next to Noam. His eyes grew wide and betrayed. "Mama, give back..."

"How long is this drive?" Ziva asked in exasperation.

"Another 14 hours and 51 minutes," Tony replied calmly, turning onto the I-275. "We'll stop in Jacksonville."

"Mama, give back..." Noam pleaded, reaching desperately towards the front. "Mama..."

* * *

"Thank you! They are _finally_ asleep," Ziva muttered, looking behind her at three children in deep sleep. "How much longer?"

"You're worse than them, you know," Tony laughed. "Another... six hours and 51 minutes, give or take."

"Too long. Drive faster. You are not the one breaking up fights every half an hour, Tony."

"Yes, and God bless that beautiful fact." Tony looked at her briefly and grinned. "Look, we're in North Carolina."

"Are we?" Ziva asked. "Are we really? Thank _God_, I can almost see Washington. And _you_ get to babysit at NCIS."

Tony couldn't stop another laugh from escaping. "I just realized something."

"What?" Ziva asked tiredly, tilting her seat back slightly.

"They are going to tear Gibbs' house apart."

"Which is why we are not staying there for long, Anthony, remember?" Ziva yawned, closing her eyes.

"Don't call me Anthony, you sound like a cross between my mother and Ducky."

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Shiloh whined from the backseat, as she tossed aside another colouring book.

"Out now!" Noam insisted, chucking a car at Tony's head.

Ariel let out a giggle of delight and bounced excitedly, dropping her stuffed animal in the process. Then she started to cry.

"Are we there yet?" Ziva demanded as she unbuckled her seat belt and slipped into the back, picking up Ariel's animal and handing it to her, taking away Noam's toys again and passing Shiloh another book.

"Almost," Tony replied. "Another fifteen minutes and we'll be at the Navy Yard."

"Thank you!"

* * *

"Welcome home, you two," Jenny said with a smile as she handed each of them their badge and weapon. "We've missed you around here."

"Thank you, Director, it's good to be back," Tony said with a grin as he shifted Noam to the opposite hip from the holstered weapon. "Hey!" he said sternly as Noam reached for it. "You don't touch that. Ever."

"Take toys away?" Noam asked nervously.

"Yes. I will take every last toy away and Daddy will not be giving them back." Noam withdrew his hand.

"Now, if I'm not mistaken," Jenny said with a glint of laughter in her eyes, "that beast you call a dog has been abducted by Abby and will be fine for a while. So, you must be Shiloh," she said to the little girl. Shiloh nodded shyly, taking refuge behind Ziva's legs for the moment.

"Shi, this is Director Shepard," Tony said. "She's Mama's and my boss."

"You can call me Jenny, if you want," Jenny offered, holding out her hand patiently. Shiloh paused only a moment before she accepted the hand, giving Jenny a smile. Jenny smiled back and then turned to Noam. "And who are you, little man?"

"Noam!" Noam replied stoutly.

"Okay, okay, no need to yell there, boomer," Tony said, tousling Noam's dark hair.

"And this little angel?" Jenny asked, turning to Ziva and Ariel.

"Ariel," Ziva replied.

"But not like the mermaid," Shiloh spoke up immediately.

* * *

"You're home! You're home! Yay, you're home!" Abby squealed, throwing her arms around Tony after he had set down Noam in the bullpen area. "Oh, I missed you so much..."

"Missed you, too, Abs," Tony gasped. "Abby, breathing..."

"Oh, sorry!" Abby exclaimed, releasing him and turning to Ziva. Ziva had just managed to pass Ariel out of harm's way when Abby wrapped her into a tight hug as well. "I missed you too!"

"Thank you, Abby," Ziva laughed.

"Well, come on, then," Gibbs said gruffly as he got up from his desk. "No use in staying here today."

"What, boss, no welcome-back hug?" Tony asked with a grin, yelping when Gibbs smacked him across the back of the head. "I missed that, boss."

"I'm sure you did, DiNozzo," Gibbs replied as he repeated the affectionate gesture to Ziva. "And if I ever catch either of you breaking rule number twelve on _my_ time, you'll be getting three years' worth of those at once."

"Oh, no, Gibbs," Ziva said immediately. "Of course not."

"Never on your time, boss," Tony added.

"Man the phones, McGee!" Gibbs called back. "I'll be back in an hour with _one_ of them!"

* * *

"Have fun, Tony," Ziva said with a smirk as she passed Ariel to him. "Keep them out of the basement."

"I'll pay you two hundred to switch places," Tony begged.

"My paper beat your rock. I will see you at 7."

* * *

"Agent David, take a seat," Gibbs said, gesturing at her old desk as he dumped a box full of case files on her desk. "Open cases. Learn them."

"Yes, Gibbs."

"And the new Mossad liaison will be coming down from the director's office soon," Gibbs continued to McGee and Ziva as he slid into his chair. "Apparently he arrived while we were gone?"

"Yeah, about half an hour ago, boss," McGee reported immediately.

"Who is the liaison officer?" Ziva asked.

"An Officer Bashan," McGee replied. "You know him?"

Ziva frowned. "There have been a few Bashans in Mossad. None of them are living, this must be a new officer."

"A few Bashans?" Gibbs asked with an eyebrow raised. "Another family affair?"

"Michael and his two sons," Ziva replied. "Classmates of mine. Raphael was captured and killed by Hamas when we were 18. We never did find his body. Kemuel was beheaded by Hamas the year before I came here. Michael is dead."

"Well, that's really strange, because the liaison officer is called Raphael Bashan, and he seems to know you. Specifically wanted to know if you were in today," McGee said. "Said that it'd been a long time since he'd last seen you and was hoping to catch you today."

"Well, he is not going to," Ziva said abruptly, picking the files and dumping them on Tony's desk. "Agent David is not in today. Agent DiNozzo will be arriving shortly."

"Why?" McGee asked in unison with Gibbs.

"The situation is... complicated, is that the term you use?" Ziva said evasively.

* * *

"So what changed your mind?" Tony asked as he passed Ariel back over to Ziva. "And I don't have to pay you?"

"No, my pleasure to switch places, Tony. I will explain tonight." She kissed him lightly. "Have a good day."

"Mama!" Noam shrieked excitedly, pulling at her jeans leg. "Mama, come play!"

"All right, all right, Mama is coming," Ziva laughed, letting Noam pull her into the living room strewn with cars and animals. "Goodness, Noam, you have destroyed Gibbs' living room."

"Mama, play," Noam insisted again, pushing an elephant at her.

* * *

"Agent Gibbs, Agent McGee, Agent DiNozzo, this is Officer Raphael Bashan, he'll be the new Mossad liaison," Jenny said as she entered the bullpen with the young officer right behind her. "I hope you don't mind having the extra person on your team, Gibbs, because I've assigned him to your unit." The glare she got from Gibbs told her yes, he did mind her changing his team without consulting him.

"Your desk is down there," Gibbs said bluntly, gesturing at the desk in the far corner.

"But there is an empty desk right – "

"That's Ziva's desk."

"Ziva is not here today?"

"No. Get moving, Bashan, before I have to resort to physical measures."

* * *

When Gibbs and Tony finally arrived back at the house that evening – late, due to a 3:30 call from dispatch, most of the lights were out. Upon entering, the only real activity was Ziva and Ariel walking around the living room, trying to put it back in some semblance of order.

"So who the hell is this Bashan character?" Gibbs asked without delay.

"Yeah, he's been eyeing your desk all day, like he wants to go rifling through it," Tony agreed, taking Ariel out of Ziva's arms. "Hey, Ari-girl, how about you give Daddy some of that cuddle?"

"Why are you so bent on avoiding him, Ziva?" Gibbs asked again, as Ziva stopped and dropped onto the couch, thumbs rubbing her temples.

"Because he is supposed to be dead. I have a really big problem if he is alive."

"How big?"

"I am married to two men."

There was dead silence a moment while Gibbs and Tony processed that statement.

"Polygamy's illegal, Ziva. No matter what the fundamental Latter-Day Saints tell you," Tony finally managed to say.

"You see my dilemma."


	3. Breaking the Truth

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of NCIS.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm surprised by how many reviewers are surprised at the Ziva-married-Raphael thing. I mentioned it in Be Still and in Be Still: A Father's Reflection. I hinted that Raphael might still be alive in BS: AFR. I'm a little surprised by this. Tony is surprised at the first-husband thing too. There's a lot of surprise going around.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Breaking The Truth**

"How come I've never heard about this guy?" Tony asked warily. "I mean, God, Ziva, it's been how many years and you never mentioned him?"

Ziva couldn't even meet his gaze. "Because Rafi is what you Americans call a 'sore subject'." She bit her lip. "Oh, God, I thought he was dead... Give me Ariel back," she said abruptly, changing topics as she stood up. Without waiting for Tony's response, she pulled the infant from him and nestled her close against her shoulder.

Gibbs slipped out from the living room wordlessly, going down into the basement and closing the door.

"Tell me what happened," Tony ordered quietly. "Tell me the whole story, and don't leave out any little pieces."

"For God's sake, Tony, I was 17!" Ziva snapped angrily. "I was stupid!" She sighed in disgust. "He was – he was being deployed with IDF out to the Lebanon border and – "

"I don't care about that part!" Tony snapped back at her. "It's the part where you're married to both of us that I care about!"

"Hamas captured him at the border, Tony! Hamas never keeps their prisoners alive! They always kill them! Always! God, we all thought he was dead!" She ran a hand through her hair. "Oh, God..."

Tony sighed in disgust. "Give me back my kid," he muttered, taking Ariel from her. "I don't believe this."

* * *

Ziva held her cell phone to her ear as she listened to the ringing, sliding down against the wall as the tears threatened to break loose.

_"Rosen residence, Sarah here."_

"Sarah, it's Ziva," Ziva said, swiping at her eyes.

_"Ziva, are you all right? You sound upset."_

"Rafi is alive, Sarah."

_"What?"_

"Rafi is alive," Ziva repeated. "He's here in Washington."

_"Well, that's good! Ziva, that's wonderful, I'm so happy for you!"_

"No, Sarah, that's not good. I'm married to somebody else now. I have children..." she heard another extension on Sarah's end pick up.

Sarah was silent for a moment. _"Oh. No, that's not good." _

_"Wait, Ziva has children? When did this happen?" _came the voice of Sarah's husband Reuven.

_"Reuven, we are in the middle of a conversation! Do you mind? I'll explain later." _Reuven hung up without another word said. _"Does he know?"_

"Who, Rafi or Tony?"

_"Well, either."_

"I haven't had the _chutzpah_ to face Rafi yet. I just told Tony, and he's a little upset."

_"Define a little."_

Ziva paused, clearing her throat as she sniffled. "I think this might be the biggest argument we've ever had. And we've had a few." She tried again, uselessly, to stop the sob that escaped. "God, Sarah, what am I supposed to do?"

_"Well, Ziva, you have to break it to Rafi – oh, God, Ziva, you don't still love him?"_

Ziva didn't respond, wiping the tears away again. "Now I know how Thomas Zuri must've felt," she muttered. "But I have a feeling Rafi is not going to be as forgiving as Sayda."

_"Who?"_

"Never mind, case from Washington. Sarah, tell me what to do. I can't think straight..."

_"I can't, Ziva, I'm sorry. You have to figure this one out on your own. I have to get to work, Ziva. Call again if you need somebody to listen, all right? Shalom."_

"Yeah, I could use some of that..." Ziva muttered as she hung up the cell, still crying.

"Mama?" came Shiloh's uncertain voice from the darkness of the hallway.

Ziva looked up, wiping at her eyes again. "Come here, Shiloh, baby. Come cuddle." She wrapped her arms around her daughter gratefully as Shiloh curled up in her lap and wrapped her warm little arms around Ziva's neck. "Mmm... you feel so good."

"Why are you crying, Mama?" Shiloh asked.

Ziva sighed and kissed her tousled head of hair. "Never you mind, Shiloh. It is grown-up things. Did you have a bad dream?"

"I heard you crying and I was scared," Shiloh whispered. "I thought maybe you were hurt."

Ziva hugged her tightly and kissed her little nose. "I am sorry to have scared you, Shiloh. Go back to sleep. Mama will be fine. _Laila tov, _sweetheart."

"_Laila tov, Mama_."

* * *

"No, Mama, stay!" Noam pleaded tearfully with her as she set him down on the floor of the daycare centre. "No, Mama, stay!"

"Mama has to leave, Noam," Ziva said as she unzipped his jacket and tugged off his mittens and hat. "I will be back soon, yes?"

"No, stay!" Noam screamed when it became evident that she was not going to listen to teary-eyed pleading.

One of the workers quickly stepped in and took him from her. "We can handle it, Agent David. Go on. He'll calm down soon enough."

Ziva bit her lower lip. "Everybody does not like me lately," she said wryly, managing to land one last kiss on Noam's head before she left, the sounds of Noam's agonized screams echoing in her ear. Internally, she cursed Tony for having left her with the task of dropping off the kids at the daycare on the Navy Yard.

* * *

As she got into the elevator, she knew he was behind her. The elevator dinged and the doors slid closed, and as she turned around when he shut the elevator down, she tried to prepare herself. Nothing could've prepared her for this moment.

"Oh, God, Ziva, I've missed you," he whispered against her lips as he bent in and kissed her.

It took all of her self-control to not succumb. She wasn't married to Rafi any more, and she needed to tell him that. "Rafi, don't make this hard," she whispered, pulling away.

"What's so hard about it?" he asked plaintively, pulling her against him with a gentle firmness she barely recollected. "The elevator's shut down, nobody's interrupting..."

"Rafi, no..." she said again, even as she felt her defenses begin to crumble. "Rafi, please don't..."

"You're right," he conceded. "Not here. Not now. Later. After work." One hand slid around the back of her neck and he gave her one last long, lingering kiss. "When we have time to catch up. Nine years is a long time, Ziva."

Ziva mentally beat herself up as she returned the kiss. "You're right, Rafi," she said quietly. "Nine years is a long time."

He broke the kiss with a satisfied smile and started the elevator again. He slipped her a folded piece of paper. "My apartment. Bring Asa with you, all right?"

He _had_ to bring up Asa.

* * *

Ducky was rather surprised when he opened his cooler in Autopsy to find Ziva sitting on the floor, leaning her forehead against the cool walls. "Ziva, may I ask why you are in my cooler?" he asked, holding out a hand to help her up. "Does Gibbs know you are down here?"

"No, Ducky, he does not," Ziva replied quietly. "And I am in your cooler because it clears my mind. And they cannot find me in here. I need somewhere quiet to think."

"Yes, well, I'm afraid this is not the place to be doing that, my dear, I'm terribly sorry," Ducky said, pulling her to her feet. "Mr. Palmer will be late today, if you wish to discuss it over a cup of tea," he offered gently as he caught sight of her red eyes.

Ziva gave him a grateful smile. "I would like that, Ducky. Perhaps you can help me."

* * *

"Ziva, where the hell are you?" Gibbs demanded as he clutched the receiver tightly against his ear. "You get the hell back up here or I am going to slap you clear back to Tel Aviv!"

Tony glanced at Ziva's empty desk with a twinge of worry tugging at his heart. It shouldn't have taken her this long to drop off the kids. That bastard Bashan had been up here almost as long as he had. Where was she?

The elevator dinged open, and Ziva walked out, carrying a pile of folders and her bag. Again, he was struck momentarily speechless by the way she could make something so mundane look so damn sexy. "Ducky's final autopsy report on Lieutenant Thorne's murder, Gibbs," she said quietly, setting down the folders on his desk. "He asked me to bring them up, as Palmer is not here and he is short-hand in Autopsy today."

"Short-staffed, Ziva," McGee corrected. "Short-hand is writing."

"Whatever," Ziva replied curtly, taking her seat at her desk and pulling open her drawer with just a little more force than necessary. "They use their hands in Autopsy, yes?"

"True," McGee said uneasily.

_Kids all right?_ Tony typed into his IM screen, sending it to Ziva.

_Noam is likely still screaming. Girls are fine. _Ziva's curt reply came moments later.

_

* * *

_

"All I'm saying, director, is that you may want to delve a little deeper into Officer Bashan's past. There is an issue that needs to be dealt with."

"But without a reason, Ducky, no, I won't."

_"I do not normally betray confidences, director, and I will not make an exception for you. Ziva entrusted me with that information. All I can say is that the poor girl's in purgatory."_

"I'm not a counsellor, Ducky. I don't deal in mediation."

_"But you do deal in personnel issues. Trust me, director, this issue could destroy the team if it isn't dealt with properly. Ziva needs an outside party there when she talks to Officer Bashan."_

"Then perhaps Agent David needs to learn to deal with this on her own time, Doctor Mallard." Jenny hung up the phone, opening the dossiers that Mossad had transferred: both Ziva's from when she was liaison officer, and Bashan's. Skipping over next-of-kin and family information, she read through the evaluations and missions records once more. There was nothing there to indicate a problem between Ziva and Bashan.

* * *

"Mama! Mama back!" Noam squealed in delight as he clambered up from his spot by the doorway and reached for her. "Mama, up!"

"Yes, Mama is back, Noam," Ziva laughed, scooping him up into her arms and hugging him tightly. "Have you sat there all day?" she asked with a kiss to his cheek, forgetting for a moment the emotional hell she had been in all day.

"Mama!" Shiloh shrieked as she dashed to her from one of the play areas around the room. Kneeling down, Ziva let Shiloh run right into her free arm, wrapping her into a tight hug.

"Mmm... I missed you today, Shiloh," Ziva said with a laugh. "Did you have a good day?"

"I want to go home now, Mama," Shiloh replied, just as the worker from earlier in the morning arrived with Ariel. Ziva set down Noam, though he attached himself to her leg resolutely, and took Ariel gratefully.

"Absolutely, Shiloh," Ziva said, kissing Ariel again and again as she got her baby's coat and mittens and hat on. "Can you get your coat on?"

Noam, meanwhile, kept on holding out his mittens for her, having succeeded in getting his own coat on and his hat. "Mama, mitts!"

"Yes, Noam, give me one moment," Ziva said patiently, tugging Ariel's zipper up. "All right. We will get your coat done up. And mittens will go on your hands. There." She kissed his nose again. "Shiloh, are you ready?"

* * *

"Mama, aren't you coming home with us?" Shiloh asked desperately as Ziva finished snapping Ariel's car seat harness in place. "It's time to go home, Mama. You said..."

"Mama has some work to finish first," Ziva lied apologetically, giving each child one last kiss. "I will not be long. I will be home before bedtime."

"Right," Tony muttered from the driver's seat, and the two of them glared at each other briefly before Ziva closed the van door and he drove off.

* * *

Ziva took a deep breath, trying to calm herself as she stood outside the apartment's front door. She had to be strong. Disassociated. Rafi was not her husband any more, and he had no right to act as though he was.

"Mossad training, don't fail me now," she muttered as she knocked at the door.

And for a wild second, as he was opening the door, she thought 'I can do this'. It was simple: 'Rafi, you died. I married somebody else. Goodbye, Rafi.' That was all it was. It wasn't really complicated.

And then the next second destroyed it. He opened the door, and he looked at her, and he smiled. "No Asa, then?"

Oh, God, and she still had to break Asa to him. "No, Rafi." She took a deep breath, still screaming, 'DISASSOCIATE!' at herself internally as Rafi invited her in. "Asa is dead."

There. She'd said it. Now she just needed to say –

"Dead?" Rafi asked, staring at her in stunned disbelief. "How? When?"

"Premature. When you were captured by Hamas," she replied quietly. "The doctors said they weren't certain he would have survived even carried to term."

"Oh, God, Ziva..." he breathed, staring at her still.

"I'm sorry, Rafi," she said. "Rafi, I – "

But her next revelation was cut off as he reached out to touch her face, the long-missed callused hands exploring every little detail. "No, Ziva, don't apologize. It's not your fault." And then he leaned to kiss her again.

Oh, God, not the kiss. She could withstand his words, she could withstand his closeness. Not the kiss.

"Rafi, no," she repeated uselessly, even as she felt herself returning the kiss. "Rafi, I have to tell you something."

"It can wait," Rafi said simply, pulling her with him back towards the bedroom.

Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no. She could not do this.

"Rafi, wait."

"I did, Ziva," Rafi pleaded as he was pulling off layers. "I waited for nine years. Please. Tell me later."


	4. The Ugly Confrontation

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of NCIS.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I can see the stones being thrown already... you're going to _kill_ me right through this computer screen...

_Happy birthday to me. I am officially 20 years old when I post this chapter._

* * *

**Chapter 3: An Ugly Confrontation**

"So?" Rafi asked, one hand sliding to the inside of her thigh as he leaned over to kiss her again. "As good as you remembered?" He grinned impishly at her for a moment, the grin quickly fading when she didn't return it. "Ziva?"

"You just couldn't wait another five minutes," Ziva said shakily, getting as far away from him as she could manage as she was redressing. It was almost 8. She had get back home.

"Ziva, what's going on?" Rafi asked warily.

"You couldn't wait another _five_ minutes to let me tell you I'm married!"

"Yeah, I know, to me!" Rafi exclaimed as he got up, pulling on his own clothes.

"God, _no_, Rafi!" Ziva exclaimed. "To somebody else! I've been with him for nearly five years!"

Rafi blanched. "You what?"

"God, Rafi, I have _children_!" Ziva said, pulling her hand through her hair frantically.

"I spent nine years prisoner in Lebanon, fighting every day of torture to stay alive so I could come home to you," Rafi said dangerously, advancing.

"I thought you were _dead_, Rafi!" Ziva cried, instinctively catching his fist before it hit her.

"You should've waited for my body before you went off and _married_ somebody else!" Rafi yelled. "Why didn't Kemuel stop you? Kemuel, Tali, Ari, Leah, _somebody_?"

"Because they're all dead, Rafi! Hamas beheaded Kemuel six years ago, they blew up Haifa Harbour and Tali and Leah died in the explosion. Ari was a traitor, he was killed for it! Everything all happened at once, Rafi, and all before I ever came to America! _You were dead!_" She took a shuddering breath, trying to calm herself. "I have to get home. I promised my kids I would be home before bedtime. I'm going to be late as it is..."

"No," Rafi said, grabbing her wrist. "Not until you can give me a reason why I didn't mean enough for you to wait."

"I waited for you for _four damn years_, Rafi!" Ziva snapped, trying to yank her arm out of his grip. "Let go of me."

"I waited for nine."

"Yeah, well, _you _didn't have much of a choice, did you?" Ziva snarled, finally freeing her arm just as Rafi's other fist made contact with her face.

"Get out," he snarled, shoving her away from him when she swung back.

"Gladly," she snarled back, stalking out.

"This isn't done," he muttered as the door slammed shut.

* * *

Ziva opened the door as quietly as she could. She could hear Shiloh and Noam both whining to Tony, and Ariel crying.

Gibbs came out from the hallway, carrying Ariel. "Here," he said without another word, passing Ariel to her. Frowning, he reached out to brush a careful finger across her face,which was reddened from where Rafi had struck her. "Ziva, what – "

Ziva pulled away and shook her head, rocking Ariel back and forth as she headed towards the spare bedroom where the children were sleeping. "Shh, Ariel, sleep, it's okay..." she whispered gently in Hebrew.

"Mama!" Noam shrieked as she entered the room, scrambling up from Tony's lap and latching himself onto her leg. "Mama home!"

"Mama, come read us a story!" Shiloh said excitedly, holding out the storybook for her. "Mama!"

"All right, all right, I am coming," Ziva laughed as she ruffled Noam's hair and sat down on the ground next to Tony. Shiloh immediately snuggled into her side, Noam climbing into her lap and Ariel nestling her head deeper into Ziva's neck.

_This _was what she loved, Ziva thought to herself as she opened the book. All three children in her arms and Tony leaning in to kiss her. More than she had ever loved Rafi, she loved this. She had fought for this. She had nearly died for this. She had gone into hiding for almost three years to keep this.

Her blood went cold and her heart stopped when Tony froze an inch from her lips, though she didn't slow in the slightest in her reading. Tony, of course, being Tony, could smell sex from a mile away.

She could almost feel the ice in his words as he said, "You slept with him." The air turned subzero as he stood up and left the room.

* * *

"Mama," Shiloh asked as Ziva was tucking her into bed after the story was done, "is Daddy coming back soon? It's very dark out."

Ziva sighed and kissed her forehead. "I am sure he will, Shiloh. Go to sleep. I will tell Daddy to come and kiss you goodnight when he comes back."

Shiloh nodded, curling up under her blankets with a yawn. "_Laila tov, Mama_."

Ziva double-checked on Noam, who was out cold in his own bed, and Ariel, who was fast asleep in her crib. Then she shut out the lights and closed the door, sliding down to the ground with a shuddering sob just as her cell phone rang. Biting back the sob, she flipped it open. "David."

_"Just so that you know, I'm at the Ridgemont." _With that, Tony hung up without so much as a 'goodbye'.

Ziva swallowed the sob as she hit redial.

_"What do you want?"_

"Come back and say goodnight to the kids," she said, voice cracking slightly. "Let us discuss this like rational adults."

_"Right now, I'm not feeling particularly rational, Ziva. Right now, actually, I feel like ripping your heart out."_

"You already did," Ziva muttered, wiping her eyes again and flinching when her hand brushed the growing bruise. "Please, Tony..."

_"No. I consider myself a pretty open-minded person, Ziva, but even I can't overlook my wife sleeping with another man."_

"Tony..." She flipped the phone shut when he hung up without another word, and gave up.

"Here," came Gibbs' quiet voice as he sat down beside her, passing her an ice pack wrapped in a towel. When Ziva looked up and gave him a quizzical look, he continued, "For your face."

"Thank you," Ziva said softly, pressing the pack against her face gingerly.

"You feel like talking about it?" Gibbs asked.

"Not really."

"This have something to do with Bashan?"

"Yes."

Gibbs watched her for a moment, then asked, "He the jackass who gave you this?" Ziva nodded silently. "I can beat 'em both up, you know."

Despite herself, Ziva laughed slightly. "I have already given Rafi a few bruises tonight. Tony has every right to be angry."

* * *

Tony still wasn't entirely sure he had gotten over the shock of betrayal when his cell phone started ringing.

Wrapping the towel around himself quickly, he managed to open the phone before it went to voicemail. "Yeah?" he asked, seeing _Ziva_ on the caller ID screen.

_"You have the van, Tony."_

"Uh-huh."

_"How am I supposed to get the kids to daycare? I have no car and no car seats."_ He could hear Shiloh roughhousing with Goliath and Noam whining in the background, Ariel fussing about something nearby – Ziva was probably carrying her.

"Well, that would be _your_ problem, wouldn't it?" Tony said snidely.

_"Would you just come down and pick us up? They are upset enough because they woke up this morning and you were not there."_

"I'll be there in half an hour," Tony said grudgingly.

* * *

"It's about time, DiNozzo," Gibbs said pointedly as he opened the front door on his way out, as Tony was heading in.

"Daddy!" Shiloh cried delightedly as she appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. Tony knelt down to catch her as she dashed toward him, flinging her arms around his neck. "Daddy, you never even came home last night." She cupped her hands around his ear and whispered, "Mama cried all night."

Tony shifted her to one hip as Noam dove into the freed arm, giving his son a kiss good morning. "Morning, Noam. Have you both eaten breakfast?"

"Yeah," they both said, just as Ziva said from the spare bedroom,

"Yes, they have. Their bags are at the front door. Ariel and I will be out shortly."

Tony set Shiloh and Noam both back down on the ground. "All right, guys, coats and hats and mitts, let's go." He laughed as Noam giggled and pushed his things into Tony's hands, squealing and kicking when Tony scooped him up into his lap to put the winter apparel on. "And _you_, little mister, aren't getting out of the coat so easily," he growled in mock sternness. "Come on, arms in."

"No coat!" Noam giggled.

"Noam, listen," Ziva ordered tiredly, and Tony looked up momentarily to see her coming out from the bedroom with Ariel bundled up and the baby's bag slung over one shoulder with hers. What seemed like the entire left side of her face had been struck – hard. Her eyes were more than tinged with red.

"What happened to you?" Tony asked coolly, managing to wrangle Noam into his coat and zipping it up before he escaped.

"I got into a bit of an argument last night," Ziva replied with equal chill.

"Before or after you slept with him?"

"We have to go, we will be late for work."

* * *

"You broke my nose," Rafi growled in Ziva's general direction as she walked into the bullpen and sat down. "Do you know how difficult that was to explain to the ER?"

"Be glad I didn't break more," Ziva returned tersely.

* * *

Tony watched the exchange with a frown. Bashan had a nose splint and raccoon eyes. Ziva's face was bruised badly. With the curt, abrupt Hebrew conversation that had just happened, he was starting to wonder – had he misread the entire situation last night?

Sighing, he sat down at his desk and watched her out of the corner of his eye. Her hand kept coming up to her face and brushing her cheek, her flinch barely perceptible as it did.

_Tell me one thing,_ he wrote into his IM window, sending it to Ziva. _Was it consensual?_

There was no reply from Ziva, as she picked up her ringing extension and ignored her screen.

_Ziva, answer me._

"Abby has the lab results, Gibbs," Ziva reported quietly, hanging up.

"You and DiNozzo go get them, then, Ziva," Gibbs replied, waving her off.

* * *

"You never answered me," Tony said as he shut down the elevator. "Ziva, I want to know." He reached out and touched her face gently, pulling her into his arms. God, he missed her already, and he'd only been gone a night. "Ziva," he murmured, kissing her lightly. "Ziva, just tell me. Enough secrets."

"It... it is complicated, Tony," she whispered in return, renewing the kiss longingly.

"Try me," he pleaded, as he tried to undo her belt without making his intent too obvious. To her credit, she let him keep going.

"I... I do not know, Tony," she said, voice cracking slightly as he slid his hands into her panties.

"Did you tell him no?" he asked as she instinctively moved to give him what she knew he wanted. "Did you tell him to stop?" he persisted, rubbing her lightly, hungrily when she began undoing his belt.

"Yes," she replied, moaning as she tried to bury a scream of pleasure in his shoulder. "Yes, many times."

"Then that's nonconsensual," Tony groaned into her hair as she succeeded in getting his pants and boxers off, skimming her fingers across his hardened length. "You should've told me."

"I tried to," she returned, gasping when he entered without warning. "You left."

* * *

"And the bruises?" he asked softly, when the frenzy had calmed and they were redressed, Ziva nestled into his side as they sat in the corner of the darkened elevator.

Ziva was quiet a moment before she said, in barely more than a whisper, "He got a little angry when I told him it was over. He has given me worse."

"He abused you?" Tony asked, blood beginning to boil.

"He would hit me, I would hit him back," Ziva replied, closing her eyes. "In case you had not noticed, I broke his nose last night. It was not a healthy relationship, Tony." She paused, and a tear managed to escape her closed eyes.

Tony reached over and brushed away the tear, saying quietly, "But you loved him still the same."

"I did." Abruptly, Ziva cleared her throat and started to get up. "We should get to Abby's lab before she sends out a search party."

Tony got to his feet behind her and flipped the emergency switch again, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek. "We'll get through this, Ziva. I promise."

"We are going to be Gibbs-slapped from here to eternity."

"All right, I get it, too much mush." He landed one last light kiss on her cheek. "Lead the way, ninja-chick."


	5. Some Secrets We Keep

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of NCIS.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Some Secrets We Keep**

_November 29, 2010_

"Happy birthday, my crazy Israeli," Tony murmured into Ziva's ear as he started sliding a hand over her bare, firm abdomen: Gibbs' furnace had started overdoing the whole 'heating' thing early that morning, and the house was pretty much a sweatshop, leaving everybody desperately trying to cool down in any way possible. The windows were all open, they'd sent Shiloh and Noam to bed with ice packs, everybody had as few layers as possible on. "How old are you again, 21?"

Ziva laughed. "My birthday is tomorrow, Tony," she replied, stretching lazily. "And I am 26."

"Ugh, ancient," Tony growled goodnaturedly.

Ziva twisted around to look at him. "How old did you turn this year, Tony, remind me?" she asked coyly, a sly grin crossing her face as he frowned unhappily. "Oh, yes, that is right, you turned _40_," she teased, kissing him. "Which makes you – "

"Enough, Ziva."

"I can even see a little grey, right around here – " she started to laugh, playing with his hair as she feathered light kisses across his temple.

"All right, that's enough commentary from the peanut gallery," Tony said grouchily. "I'll have you know I don't have a strand of grey anywhere on my body."

"Anywhere?" Ziva asked seductively.

"Anywhere."

_

* * *

_

Ziva looked into his eyes and saw the man she loved staring back at her.

_"Oh," he groaned as she pulled him in. "Oh, God, I've missed you."_

_

* * *

_

Ziva lay still for a moment, caught up in the peace of the aftermath of love. Curled up under the sheets, she reached out to touch his face, burnt by the hot Israeli sun. It had been a long, torturous three weeks while they both been on missions with their internship units in Mossad. He had come back with a sunburn and a wounded Hezbollah rebel. She had come back with a dead terrorist and a bullet through her shoulder.

_He made the sex mindblowing. There was no other word to describe it. It almost made up for the fights that always seemed to break out shortly afterwards._

_She gazed at his sleeping face for a while longer. Would it change, when their child was born? Would they lose all interest, exchange making love for soothing a crying infant? Midnight feedings instead of late night whispers and clandestine kisses?_

_Then suddenly their Tel Aviv apartment became his Washington apartment, and she realized what she'd done._

* * *

Ziva awoke with a gasp of startlement, slowly calming as she registered Tony's arm around her waist. He didn't even stir. Sighing, she settled back down into his arms, clasping his hand in hers. After that initial burst of uncontrolled passion in the elevator, he had kissed her cheek lightly as they were preparing to leave for the day and said, _"It's going to take time, Ziva. I still need some space for a while."_

He had come with her to pick up the kids at daycare, shaking his head as he scooped up Noam from his usual spot sitting by the doorway. _"He always sit here?"_

_"Yes," _Ziva had replied with a slight smile as she received Ariel from the worker.

He had come back to Gibbs' place with them, and they had tried their best to keep life as normal as it had been for the kids in the evening. Tony got the kids all bathed and dressed in their pajamas, had cuddled with Ariel while Ziva was reading the story, had tucked all three in and kissed them goodnight. Then he had left again, promising to be back before they woke up.

That had been two nights ago. Tonight, the night before her birthday, he had opted to stay the night, and she was revelling in the presence of a warm, solid body next to hers that wasn't four years old or younger. Maybe she was even a little frustrated at the three days of missed romance – she was taking far too much pleasure out of simple teasing.

With another sigh, Ziva pulled his arm around closer and closed her eyes. She wanted this moment to last forever.

"Happy birthday," he murmured into her ear again, leaning over to kiss her cheek lightly. "It's after midnight now, so it really is your birthday."

"Mmm, thank you," Ziva yawned as she drifted back to sleep.

_

* * *

_

"Happy birthday, Ziva," came a voice from behind her.

_"Rafi!" Ziva exclaimed, whirling around and throwing her arms around him. "Rafi, you're home! Oh my God, you're back, and you're okay!"_

_"Yeah, my unit got sent back from the border for a few days," Rafi laughed, kissing her hungrily as he put a wondering hand on her stomach. "Wow. You really are pregnant."_

_Ziva laughed in return, kissing him back. "Yes, I really am. You didn't believe me?"_

_And it was barely five days later that the major in charge of border patrol came to her apartment door. "Officer Bashan has been captured by Hamas..."_

* * *

Again, Ziva woke up with a start. Why? Why did she dream of Rafi while she lay in Tony's arms? Why did she still remember their marriage when it was over, when she had a new marriage, a family to care for? Why had she let herself give in that night, and why had she let Tony believe that she hadn't gone along with it?

Twisting around, Ziva laid a gentle kiss on Tony's lips and then carefully extracted herself.

Some secrets she would keep.

* * *

"Happy birthday, Ziva," Rafi said quietly in Hebrew as he passed her desk with a pile of papers. "You planning anything?"

"Nothing with you, Rafi," Ziva replied distantly, continuing her search through the DMV for a suspect's license. She had just begun to rebuild her marriage, and she would not jeopardize it again.

She could feel Tony's eyes boring into her as the curt conversation ended. _What are you doing after work?_, his IM came moments later.

_Pick up the kids, go home, make them dinner. Sarah has come from Jerusalem, we are going out for dinner tonight. Gibbs said he would watch the kids. Why?_

_I thought maybe we could go out for dinner, but evidently you have other plans._

_You could come with us, I suppose, Sarah's husband will be there._

She sent Tony a slight smile as she caught him eyeing her carefully, and then typed in, _I would get dressed up for you._

_I could be convinced._

* * *

"Mama, Mama, where are you and Daddy going?" Shiloh asked as she and Noam dashed into Ziva's bedroom, where Tony was threading the satin thread through the back of her floor-length gown carefully. "Mama, you look pretty..."

Ziva laughed. "Thank you, Shiloh. Mama and Daddy are going out for dinner with an old friend of Mama's."

"Mama, up!" Noam pleaded, reaching up his arms with his hands sticky from dinner. "Mama, up hug!"

"You're going to get whatever the hell is on his hands on your gown, Ziva," Tony warned, tying the thread together once he'd threaded it through each eye. "Don't pick him up."

"Come, Noam," Ziva said gently, pulling a diaper wipe from Ariel's nearby baby bag. "We will clean off your hands first, yes? That way, Daddy is not worrying about handprints on the dress."

"I'm just saying, Ziva, it was a damn expensive dress," Tony protested as she finished wiping Noam's hands and lifted him up into her arms.

"Do up your tie, Tony," she sighed, kissing Noam's cheek. "We need to be leaving soon."

"Back for story?" Noam asked innocently, reaching for one of the curls tumbling down from Ziva's updo.

"I don't know, Noam," Tony replied, diverting Noam's hand before it caught onto Ziva's hair. "Go finish your supper. You too, Shiloh."

"Daddy, why are you mad at us?" Shiloh asked as she went give Ziva one last hug and kiss.

"I'm not mad at you."

"Tony, you are being a bit short with them," Ziva said quietly as she kissed Shiloh goodbye and set Noam back down. "Do not worry about it, Shiloh. Go finish supper, Mama will be home in time for story."

* * *

"You must be Tony," came the familiar Israeli-accented English from the dark-haired woman waiting outside with her husband. "I am Sarah Rosen. This is my husband Reuven."

"Tony DiNozzo, pleasure," he said quickly, shaking both their hands as Sarah and Ziva hugged. Almost immediately, the conversation started up in Hebrew, leaving Tony and Reuven to stare at each other uneasily.

Sarah was clearly asking about the bruising on Ziva's face and arms, fingers reaching out to lightly touch the slowly-fading black eye. Ziva shrugged it off with a short, clipped answer.

"So how exactly did you meet?" Reuven asked. "Ziva never really was quite clear on that part. Actually, she never did mention getting married again at all until a few days ago. Bit of a shock on our end, I can say. She ceased all contact for five or six years."

Tony rolled his eyes. "It's a bit of a complicated story."

"Did you not see the two of them?" Reuven said with a slight laugh. "We will be here all night. I have time to spare."

Tony sighed. "Well, we had this undercover mission we were on. We were supposed to be posing as a couple of married assassins, and we sort of got caught there for a few years. By the time we got out, we'd sort of forgotten it was a mission and not real life. Then we got extracted, but Mossad tried to kill her, so we had to go back into hiding for another couple of years. Just came out of it last week to this whole Bashan thing. Makes me wish we were still in hiding."

"Wait, why was Mossad trying to kill her?" Reuven asked.

"Can't really remember. I think it had something to do with Shiloh, our daughter, and not giving her up. Some stupid Komemuite rule."

"Oh, yes, that rule," Reuven sighed. "So if I heard correctly, you have children?" He grinned slightly when Sarah and Ziva both sent him an exasperated look. "I like to eavesdrop on conversations. An old habit left over from Beth Shalom, I am afraid."

That entire last sentence made no sense to Tony, but he chose to ignore it. "Yeah, we have three."

"How did _that_ happen, if you were supposed to be undercover?" Reuven asked curiously, taking a sip from his wine glass.

Tony sighed. "The wife of the assassination team had been pregnant. Ziva went and divulged that piece of information to the suspect, who then let us go with surveillance. Didn't really have much of a choice."

"Hmm," Reuven said. "Reminds me a little bit of _Mr and Mrs Smith_."

"You know, I was thinking the same thing," Tony said with a laugh.

"Did you not think Angelina Jolie was astonishing – "

Both Ziva and Sarah groaned. "Great," Ziva muttered. "They have discovered each other's hobby." Sarah rubbed her temples wearily.

* * *

"You know, I liked that Reuven guy," Tony commented as he pulled up into Gibbs' driveway. Ziva shook her head. He laughed in response and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You are not staying?" Ziva asked, not even bothering to disguise the disappointment.

"No, not tonight."

"Not even if I make it worth your stay?" Ziva offered, leaning in to kiss him.

"Not even when you make it worth the stay," Tony replied. "Maybe tomorrow night, all right?"

* * *

Ziva entered the house to see Gibbs walking Ariel around the living room. She smiled quietly at her boss as she took her daughter back. "Thank you, Gibbs."

"Where's DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, and Ziva shook her head with a sigh, heading back towards the bedrooms. "All right, I'm heading into the Navy Yard for a while, get some work done while nobody's around to disturb me. You going to be all right here by yourself?"

"Yes, Gibbs, do not worry about me," Ziva said quietly, laying Ariel back down in her crib. Both Noam and Shiloh were out cold, Ziva pulling their covers up to tuck them in tighter. Then she crossed the hallway back to her own bedroom, shedding the dress for a pair of comfortable pajamas.

As she was pulling pins out of her hair, letting it fall down curl by curl, she thought she heard a door open and close. "Noam?" she called. "Noam, back in bed, please."

There was no answer. "Shiloh?" she called warningly, heading out into the hallway. "Shiloh, you know better..."

Opening the door to the children's bedroom, she caught sight of somebody kneeling down next to Shiloh's bed. He turned around, and Ziva felt her heart stop dead in its tracks. "Rafi, what are you doing here?" she asked slowly.


	6. Eternity to Regret

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of NCIS.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: LOL, I've been getting review alerts all through the writing of this chapter and I'm almost scared to read them after the first one – where I get blasted for having Ziva cheat on Tony. And just to warn you: we're going M now, ladies and gents!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 5: Eternity to Regret

"Rafi, get out," Ziva said as he stood up. "How did you even get in?"

"I picked the lock," Rafi replied. "You know, Ziva, I saw the report from your undercover mission. You never really married him. It was all part of your cover. _They_ were all part of your cover. Come on, Ziva, we can go right now. We can go back to Tel Aviv, we can start over..."

"Rafi, don't make me shoot you," Ziva said.

"With what, Ziva?" Rafi asked. "You don't have your weapon. Besides, I know you. You wouldn't have shot me. Not the only man who loves you."

"No, Rafi," Ziva said quietly. "You don't love me. If you loved me, you wouldn't be here right now. You would've let me tell you the truth before we slept together, and you would've let me go. You would've realized that something was up when I kept telling you to stop. You don't love me. Not who I am."

"How can you say that?" Rafi asked in disbelief. "How can you believe that? Ziva, you're my life, you're what kept me alive in Lebanon... If you really believed what you're saying, Ziva, you wouldn't have been at my apartment that night. You wouldn't have come to me, wouldn't have been right there with me, making love."

"I thought I owed you an explanation. I thought you deserved to know what had happened to your son," Ziva said. "I will spend a lifetime regretting that night, Rafi. Now leave, or I will be calling the police."

It all happened in a split-second: Rafi had lunged at her, she had managed to twist his arms behind his back and he was in the process of slamming her to the ground. Desperately, Ziva grabbed the knife from his back holster and stabbed it deep into his shoulder, pinning him to the ground by her knee. "I told you to leave," she said shakily.

"You stabbed me!"

"You were attacking me."

"You stabbed me!"

Ziva yanked Gibbs' cordless phone from the nearby table and dialed his extension at NCIS. "Gibbs?" she said, gathering her shattered nerves as Rafi continued to spit angry curses beneath her. "I am afraid I have stabbed Officer Bashan."

_"You STABBED him?"_

"Not fatally..."

* * *

"What the hell is going on?" Jenny demanded as she strode into Gibbs' house. Ziva had disappeared into the children's bedroom to comfort Noam, who had woken up when Rafi had screamed.

"She _stabbed_ me!"

"Yes, Officer Bashan, I can see that!" Jenny snapped at him. "What are you doing here in the first place?"

Ziva came out from the bedroom at that point, pajamas changed from the bloody ones to clean. She held Noam protectively against her, rocking him lightly. "Officer Bashan does not understand the words 'It is over'," she said quietly.

"Would _somebody_ like to explain?" Jenny asked irritably. "It's damn midnight, and my agent has just stabbed my liaison officer. I want explanations!"

"Have you not looked at our dossiers?" Ziva asked with a frown.

"Yes, and I am still in the dark, Agent David. What is going on?"

"She is _my_ wife!" Rafi spat, an agent still holding bandages to his shoulder.

"I _was_ your wife, Rafi!" Ziva snapped back in Hebrew. "You died, I remarried, get over it!"

"Undercover missions don't count!" Rafi snarled.

"Who said it was a mission?" Ziva hissed. "You honestly didn't do _any_ research before you came? You didn't think to find out what I'd done in the last nine years? The mission ended three years ago, Rafi!"

"ENGLISH!" Jenny roared. "I can't follow the Hebrew now!"

"Lying, cheating, heartless _bitch_!" Rafi howled at Ziva, still in Hebrew. "You probably killed Asa too!"

Ziva blanched. "You would be dead if I didn't have my son in my arms," she snarled. "How dare you say that."

"What the hell is going on here?" Tony asked as he entered the house. "Ziva, you all right?" he asked, seeing the blood on the carpet as he pulled her and Noam into his arms. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?" he asked Rafi coldly.

"Getting a lesson in the meaning of the words, 'It is over'," Ziva said, gladly accepting the embrace.

"Did you... stab him?"

"Yes, she damn stabbed me!" Rafi snarled.

Tony left Ziva for a moment and went nose to nose with Rafi, saying dangerously, "I'd have damn killed you. You ever go near my wife or my children again, and I_ will_ kill you, and damn how many people watch me do it."

"Get him out of here," Gibbs said irritably to the agent holding Rafi's wrists cuffed behind his back.

"I'm sure Gamiel and Yochanan will be pleased to see you, Rafi," Ziva said with a slight smirk as the agent dragged Rafi – still spitting curses and insults at her – from Gibbs' house.

* * *

Finally, the chaos settled down. Gibbs went back to headquarters to finish more paperwork, Jenny went back home and the agents all vacated the premises. Tony had put Noam back to bed and Ziva was trying to clean up the mess she'd made in the living room.

"Just leave it for tonight, Ziva," Tony said quietly. "Come to bed."

"I thought you were still staying at the Ridgemont," Ziva said softly, continuing to work at the slowly disappearing bloodstain. "Should you not be saying, 'Go to bed'? 'Come' insinuates that you are staying." She looked up when Tony pulled her to her feet, dropping the cloth back down on the ground. "Why are you here?"

"I almost got to the hotel," Tony admitted, winding one long, dark curl around his finger as he slid his arm around her waist. "And then I wondered why I was there. I mean, really, it's kind of stupid, because we know neither of us are going anywhere and my wounded ego can recover just as well here as it can there, and..." He stopped as he caught her lips in a kiss. "And I miss you."

"I am sorry, Tony," she murmured. "I am sorry, and I..."

"Need to shut up so that I can kiss you properly," Tony replied softly, tongue entering her mouth as his hands wandered downward, sliding under the waistband of her pants and underwear.

"I thought you decided you are a pedophile when you do this," Ziva gasped, as his fingers found her moist hollow. "Remember discovering I am 14 years younger?"

"We had Ariel, didn't we?" Tony returned, grin escaping when she moaned, clearly biting back the scream with the children next door. He began pushing her back towards the bedroom as he singlehandedly pulled over both of their shirts. "Really puts a kink in it, doesn't it, when you can't scream?" he teased softly, removing pants and underwear.

"Downside of children," she gasped as she straddled his waist, still fighting the urges when he began licking her breasts, hands pulling her thighs apart to facilitate access as his fingers began crawling inside of her, driving her crazy with hormones and desire.

She dove at her chance when he withdrew his fingers, switching positions so that she could torment him. He was already warm and hard, making it sadly easy for her to make him groan as she placed him into her mouth, to make him bite back his own scream of pained pleasure as she began to gently work her tongue into him.

Gasping as she felt his tongue enter her, Ziva got even, lightly tracing circles over his testicles with her fingers.

"Ziva..." she heard him moan faintly. "Ziva, out, I have to get in..."

"Oh, poor baby..." she said teasingly, withdrawing her mouth and replacing it with a well-prepared hole, sliding onto him without effort. Five years of practice... her body knew how to take him.

"Let me up," Tony rasped, hands sliding around the back of her waist as he flipped her beneath him. "Oh God, oh God, you feel so good..."

* * *

When Ziva next awoke, it was because Ariel was crying from the next room. Groaning at the interrupted sleep, she slid out from beneath Tony, laying one last kiss on his lips. Sighing, she pulled on her underwear and his abandoned shirt, exiting the room to go retrieve Ariel.

"Hey, little girl," she whispered to her daughter gently, lifting her up from the crib. "You had enough sleep, yes? At least somebody around here got sleep." Ariel babbled happily, grasping at the front of Ziva's shirt. "Yes, you missed all the action last night..." She smiled and kissed one chubby little cheek. "Come, we will find you some breakfast, yes? Before Shiloh and Noam and Daddy wake up and everything is chaos?"

Wandering out to the kitchen, Ziva switched Ariel to one hip and opened the fridge to search for some milk. Pulling it out, she looked around for a bowl and the baby cereal. "So, Ariel, what are we going to do today?"

"House-hunt," Tony's reply came from behind her. "Or at least apartment-hunt. We can't mooch off Gibbs forever." An arm slid around her waist and he kissed Ariel's cheek and then Ziva's neck. "The morning-after look suits you, sweetcheeks," he breathed into her skin. "The whole rumpled, flushed, baggy-eyed, wandering-around-in-my-shirt thing you have going on."

Ziva smiled and twisted around slightly to kiss him good morning. And that was when she knew everything would be all right.

* * *

By the time Monday had come back around, life almost felt back to normal: they had spent the weekend out inspecting potential living space, finally putting down a bid on what looked like the perfect suburban house for their family, not far from the Navy Yard.

"It kind of looks like Gilead," Tony commented blandly, making Ziva laugh and hit his head lightly.

* * *

As they left the kids at the daycare centre, Noam's lower lip still trembling threateningly, Tony put a light hand on the small of her back possessively. Following his gaze, Ziva saw Rafi watching her darkly from across the parking lot. "C'mon," he muttered, picking up the pace a little bit.

"I hear I missed one hell of a night last night," McGee commented as Tony and Ziva entered the bullpen. "Did you really stab him?"

"Who?" Ziva asked distractedly as she began pulling out folders to keep working.

"Tony!"

"McGee, do I _look_ like I've been stabbed?" Tony demanded, delivering a hard blow to the back of McGee's head.

"Oh, yeah, I guess you have a point. But Abby said she heard that you stabbed somebody yesterday."

"I did," Ziva replied quietly.

"She stabbed Bashan," Tony said with a grin on his face. "It was really good. I walk into Gibbs' house and he's screaming and bleeding on the floor. Bashan, not Gibbs."

_

* * *

_

Two months later:

"Mama, Mama, come see my room!" Shiloh squealed, grabbing Ziva's hand as she ran between boxes to get to her new bedroom.

"All right, all right, Shiloh, I am coming," Ziva laughed. "My goodness, somebody is excited."

"I get it all to myself, Mama, just like before Ariel was born," Shiloh said happily.

* * *

That evening, Ziva fell asleep in Tony's arms, feeling secure in his warmth and solidity as he splayed his fingers lightly across her stomach, murmuring into her ear, "You look too good to have four kids."

She smiled, twisting around to look at him as she asked, "Are you scared?"

"No. Excited," Tony replied, grinning at her as he kissed her again. "Go to sleep. Gibbs is going to flip out when we tell him."

"Why?"

"Because he just got you back, remember? He's going to knock my head off my shoulders for knocking you up again."

* * *

Ziva got an uneasy feeling over the next few months as she caught Rafi giving her suspicious glances from across the bullpen. Any open conflict seemed to have been fixed by their confrontation and Tony's threat, but she didn't like the look in his eyes when he watched her, took in her growing stomach.

Tony seemed to notice the looks too, and she was sure more than one warning IM was sent.

On July 9, Gibbs and Ducky got phone calls. McGee and Abby and Jenny got text messages:

_TALIA TERESA DINOZZO. 12:41 AM, 6 LBS 1 OZ_

* * *

"Mama, I get to start kindergarten after summer!" Shiloh said excitedly, jumping up onto the bed with Noam.

"Shh, careful, you two," Ziva warned, folding up another pair of Noam's jeans. "Ariel and Talia are napping." Ariel was out cold on the bed, burrowed under a blanket while Talia slept in her bassinet next to the bed. "Come help Mama fold some laundry. They are your clothes, after all."

"Yeah, but laundry's a Mama and Daddy job," Shiloh protested, even as Noam happily grabbed a towel and started folding.

"Mama, we having supper?" Noam asked, dropping the carefully folded towel onto Ariel's head with a laugh. He grinned and jumped back when Ariel let out a cry of unhappiness and threw it away.

"Noam, do not torment your sister," Ziva scolded, hauling him down from the bed. Sighing, she rubbed Ariel's back. "Calm down, Ariel, it was only a towel. It is time for you to get up any way, yes?" Lifting her toddler into her arms, Ziva abandoned laundry for the moment. "Come, you two. We will have supper and Daddy can join us when he gets home."

* * *

"Mama, I don't like carrots," Noam whined, poking around his stew with a fork.

"You will eat them, Noam," Ziva said warningly, getting up when she heard a knock at the front door.

"Daddy!" Shiloh shrieked, getting down from her chair and dashing ahead of Ziva. "Daddy's home!"

"Shiloh, get back to the table and eat your dinner!" Ziva called. Scooping her sleeping newborn up from the baby sling chair, she headed for the front door to let Tony (who had forgotten his house keys again) in.

Standing outside with Tony was a stranger, a man in a professional suit and a briefcase, handing Tony a packet of papers.

"What the hell is this?" he asked in outrage as he flipped through them quickly.

"Well, Mr DiNozzo, this is – "

"Special Agent DiNozzo, and I know what these are, I want to know what they're doing at _my_ house!"

"Tony, what is it?" Ziva asked warily, touching his arm lightly as he looked at her, rage in his voice.

"We've been served with a paternity suit."


	7. A Father's Fight

_A/N: Yeah, it's true. This is the end of the story._

**

* * *

**

Chapter 6: A Father's Fight

"_Paternity suit_?" Ziva demanded, pulling the papers from his hands. "What, has some trod said you fathered her child?"

"No," Tony said. "And I think you mean 'broad'. Or 'trollop'."

Ziva scanned the long lines of legal text until her eyes hit upon one paragraph.

_**OFFICER RAPHAEL MICHAEL BASHAN**__, citizen in the country of Israel, contesting validity of paternity in regard to minor __**TALIA TERESA DINOZZO**__, currently residing in the District of Columbia, date of birth July 9, 2011 to mother __**SPECIAL AGENT ZIVA CARIA DAVID**__ and husband __**SPECIAL AGENT ANTHONY DANIEL DINOZZO**__._

"No," Ziva said, handing the papers back. "I am not playing his game. I have already declared my husband father in all aspects of the law. I will not consent to this."

"Here, let me take her inside," Tony said quietly, lifting Talia from her arms.

"This is not a request for voluntary acknowledgment, Agent David," the lawyer said quietly. "This is a court order. Officer Bashan has a valid reason to believe that he is the father of your child. We will need DNA samples from both the child and your husband to determine paternity."

"No," Ziva repeated. "My husband is the father of my daughter. There is no contesting that fact."

"Regardless, Agent David, I need the samples."

* * *

Tony spotted Rafi trying to duck into the bullpen unnoticed the next morning and made a beeline for the officer, slamming him back against the wall. "You just can't leave well enough alone, can you?" he hissed, disarming Rafi in seconds.

"The law says that I have a right to know if she is my child," Rafi hissed back.

"Damn it, Bashan, she is _my_ daughter, not yours!" Tony snarled.

"But you do not know that!" Rafi said. "If Talia is mine, I will be – "

"Talia is _not your child_!" Tony snapped, slamming his knee into Rafi's groin. Rafi dropped to the ground, groaning in pain, and Tony walked away, still trembling with rage.

* * *

"Hey, Lee, c'mere a second," Tony called as he was passing Legal.

"Can I help you, Agent DiNozzo?" Michelle asked warily.

"I need to ask you something," he said quietly. "If a woman's child is determined to be not her husband's child, can the biological father gain custody, even partial?"

"Well, there always is the chance, although most judges won't rule it in the child's best interests to be removed from their current residence unless there's cause for concern. Depending on how hard both sides fight, there's a better chance of partial or joint custody. At very least, the biological father can claim visitation rights."

"What if the biological father lives in a different country? Most judges wouldn't rule custody for that, right?"

"It all depends on what the biological father is willing to do. Some will fork out the hundreds of dollars to fly their child in or to fly out to them. If the case is particularly nasty, they may assign costs to the mother and court order custody arrangements." She gave him a brief, sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, Agent DiNozzo, you've got a long, dirty fight ahead of you. I can't tell you anything definitive about how it would turn out."

* * *

In frustration, Tony shoved the papers aside. "That damn bastard has us no matter what direction we turn," he groaned, putting his forehead into his hands. "He has no financial obligations. He can afford to fork out the money for a trial. We can't. We've got a mortgage and cars and kids. So we're stuck taking what he asks."

Ziva bit back the tears as she rocked Talia soothingly. She knew Rafi. He was so angry at her right now that he would demand full custody right from the start, and she couldn't let him do that. "It may not happen, Tony," she offered softly. "He still needs a positive result to pursue anything."

Tony looked up at her briefly, and his eyes went ice cold. "There's a 50-50 chance, Ziva, unless there's another affair you'd like to admit to."

Ziva bit the inside of her cheek. Talia started squalling again and she picked up the pace, rubbing her daughter's back. "We need a plan, Tony. Something to give him if it does turn out..."

"I'm not giving that goddamn bastard my kid, Ziva!" Tony exploded and Talia's cries escalated into screams.

"Tony, I am just saying that if we offer him something reasonable, he may less inclined to demand full custody. Would you rather give Talia to him for life, or a few weeks out of the year?" Ziva snapped, trying to calm Talia down again. "I do not relish the thought, either, Tony, but like you said, there is a 50-50 chance."

"God, this wouldn't be happening if you hadn't slept with him!"

"Do you think I do not know that, Tony?" Ziva demanded. "God, are you going to remind me of that every day?"

"I'm going to be reminded of it every day that I'm being told to prove that my daughter is mine!" Tony snarled. "And I'm going to be reminded of it every time that bastard comes to take her!" He threw down the files and stormed out.

"Tony!" Ziva yelled after him. "Tony, do not walk out like that!"

"I'll do whatever I damn want to, Ziva!"

* * *

Neither considered themselves particularly religious people, but did they both pray in those long three weeks. Ziva couldn't have dealt with Rafi's triumphant leers, and Tony wasn't sure he would ever learn to deal with knowing his littlest daughter wasn't his.

They were once again separated, and they both knew that the results of this test would decide whether or not it would become permanent.

Ziva was trying to prepare herself for the worst. Trying to prepare herself for the very real possibility of losing her husband, losing her children – Rafi would demand Talia. She was sure Tony would demand Shiloh, Noam and Ariel.

"Mama?" Noam asked plaintively the night before Shiloh's first day of kindergarten, climbing up onto the bed next to her as Ziva was laying Talia down for the night. "Mama, is Daddy coming home soon? I miss him."

"I do not know, Noam, sweetheart," Ziva said softly.

"Can I snuggle with you tonight, then, Mama?" he asked, nestling under the covers into her arms.

* * *

Tony knocked back a second glass of vodka. This tension was too much, and the sounds of Ziva's hurt voice as he laid out the plan still echoed in his mind.

_"If those results come back positive for him, Ziva, it's over. It's over between us, and you and she can go live with him. I can't even live under the same roof if that happens."_

_"Tony, think about what you are saying… the children…"_

_"_My_ kids stay with me."_

_"Tony…"_

_Tony hung up without saying goodbye._

* * *

The phone rang early the next morning, interrupting what was turning out to be a very hectic household's breakfast.

Ziva dove for the cordless, picking it up just as Ariel dumped her cereal on the ground and Tali began wailing insistently. "DiNozzo-David household," she said breathlessly. She tried to listen to the monotone voice on the other end as she picked up Ariel's cereal bowl, refilled it with Cheerios and cleaned up the mess, then sat down in a nearby chair to feed Talia. "Shiloh, darling, can you get Talia's blanket for me, please?" she asked. "I am sorry, sir, repeat that last sentence?"

* * *

"Ah, you must be Miss DiNozzo," the teacher said with a bright smile as she knelt down to talk to Shiloh. I'm Mrs. Reynolds."

"Shiloh, what do you say?" Ziva chided gently, helping her take off her rain slicker. Noam was busy enjoying the squeaky sounds his rubber boots made when he jumped on the linoleum, giggling insanely. "Noam, stop that," she said sternly.

"Good morning, Mrs. Reynolds," Shiloh said softly, turning around to hug Ziva tightly. "Mama, Daddy'll come right when school is done, promise?"

"Promise," Ziva said with a smile, returning the hug before Shiloh gave both little sisters in the stroller a kiss and waved goodbye to Noam. "Have a good day, darling, okay?"

* * *

"Mama, we go in puddles!" Noam laughed excitedly, jumping into another puddle in the parking lot as Ziva loaded her little daughters into the van.

"Noam, into your seat, please," Ziva said. "No puddles today. Oh, look at you, you are all wet," she said tiredly, as she lifted him up into the van.

Noam grinned at her.

But barely minutes after lunch was done, everybody under the age of six was fast asleep in the house, including Goliath, and Ziva could finally sit down and think. She had four hours before they were off work, four hours before all hell would break loose, and she still wasn't sure that she was ready for it.

Sighing, she got up from the couch and went upstairs to check on the children, then dropped off into an uneasy, light sleep.

* * *

She woke up as somebody was yanking her up by her hair. Old Mossad instincts kicked in and she threw herself in Krav Maga mode, pulling her assailant's knife from his holster and placing it against his throat.

"God, Rafi!" she exclaimed irritably as she registered who was attacking her. "Do you have a _death wish_?" She pulled the knife away slightly, though she still had him pinned to the wall. "Get out. You got your results."

Rafi's eyes were ice-cold. "I want the tests rerun."

"There's no point, Rafi. No matter how many times those tests are run, they will never say what you want them to say." She drew the knife a little closer. "When I take the knife away, you're going to leave. You're going to leave quietly and without a fight. You will drop this stupid, pointless fight and you will _never_, _never_ come near my house or my children again. Do I make myself clear?"

"And if I don't?"

"I was _metsada_ in Mossad, Rafi. You take a wild guess what I'll do."

Rafi frowned. "You're bluffing, you were never _metsada_."

"After you died, I was. Right up until I was transferred to NCIS," Ziva replied, grip tightening on the hilt of the knife. "Rafi, just leave. Stop this. We were over years ago."

* * *

Tony and Shiloh arrived home roughly half an hour later to find the house in full activity again. Other than the faint tinge of red in Ziva's eyes, nothing was obvious to suggest that there had been conflict.

* * *

Ziva looked at the official sheets that night in the kitchen, as she listened to Tony getting the kids off to bed.

_… we regret to say that we cannot conclusively exclude either subject. Therefore, with no hard evidence to the contrary, paternity will remain awarded to Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo and the case of Bashan vs. David will be dismissed..._

"So?" Tony asked, entering the kitchen just as Ziva had disarmed the fire alarm and was burning the papers in the sink. "What's the results say?"

Ziva turned around and smiled as he looked at her hopefully. "She is yours, Tony."

And as he grinned and swung her around, kissing her in delight, Ziva returned the kiss with equal fervor, the papers crumbling into ashes in the sink.

Some secrets she would keep.


End file.
